


The correspondences of Astrid Farnsworth

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Fringe
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-10
Updated: 2010-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-12 13:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fluff/humour piece looking at the first ten episodes through Astrid's diary entries</p>
            </blockquote>





	The correspondences of Astrid Farnsworth

* * *

**Pilot**

 _MEMO_

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

TO: Accounting Dept

CC: Charlie Francis

SUBJECT: Acquisitions for FBI/Homeland interagency project

In response to your recent email:

No, there is not a mistake. As the invoice I forwarded with the expenses clearly shows the item is indeed for one _bovidae bos_ _taurus_ ; a cow. A Holstein-Friesian cow to be exact. Called Gene.

I anticipate regular expenses to be incurred for hay or other feedstuffs.

I know this is not a normal item of expenditure but this is a very unusual case. If you have any further questions please take it up with my superior, Agent Francis.

Regards, Astrid Farnsworth

* * *

 **Same Old Story**

 _Diary Entry_

Ugh! I may have changed my mind about ever having kids. I'm certainly stocking up on birth control after what I've seen today.

Still, I got to help with the case. I recognised the image of the bridge we extracted from the optic nerve. Is it weird that I'm not freaking out about the impossible being possible, that we actually saw the last image that poor woman saw before she died?

Walter still can't remember my name. He's often confused, poor man. I know mental health facilities have their place but St Claire's doesn't seem to have done him any good at all.

* * *

 **The Ghost Network**

 _MEMO_

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

TO: Accounting Dept

SUBJECT: Acquisitions for FBI/Homeland interagency project

Yes, I did order a piano. It was vital to the case.

Unfortunately I am not at liberty to disclose any further details regarding the use of the musical instrument.

Regards, Astrid Farnsworth

 _POST-IT NOTE_

Peter, you owe me. I just billed the FBI for a piano for your father. Still, it seems to help him think. Astrid.

 _Diary Entry_

Who knew Peter could play piano, and so beautifully? The more I find out about the Bishops the more intrigued I am.

* * *

 **The Arrival**

 _MEMO_

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

TO: Charlie Francis

SUBJECT: Reassignment

While I thank you for the opportunity to work on such an important case, given today's events, I feel I can no longer work with Walter Bishop. I respectfully request reassignment. I'm on my way to clear out my desk from the Harvard lab.

 _SMS_ to Agent Francis

Signs of a struggle at lab. Peter missing. Olivia informed. On my way back to the office.

 _Diary Entry_

After what he did to me, Walter didn't even apologise. He said he had to do it, he offered that I could inject him but he never said sorry.

Even so, he seemed sincere in his regret that it was "necessary".

Working on this project is a big deal. I talked to Charlie Francis again; he asked me if I would reconsider. He said Walter had specifically asked to come and talk to me. Not, as I said, to apologise, but he was trying to make amends, I suppose in his own way.

He still can't remember my name.

Maybe one day.

 _TO DO LIST_

Speak to campus security about the break-in/kidnapping; insist on better security measures

Order more beakers (3 smashed during struggle)

Lock up syringes and keep key in my desk drawer

* * *

 **Power Hungry**

 _Diary Entry_

You know what would be nice? A week without an autopsy in the lab. If I wanted to work with dead bodies I'd have studied to be a medical examiner. I thought I'd see corpses in the FBI but not every single day in the place at which I work. Never mind, I'm building up a tolerance to the smell, which is by far the worst part.

Walter still can't get my name right, but he's trying.

 _MEMO_

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

TO: Accounting Dept.

SUBJECT: Pigeons

They're just a rental. I promise we will not be billing you for birdseed in addition to the hay.

Regards, Astrid Farnsworth

* * *

 **The Cure**

 _MEMO_

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

TO: Accounting Department

SUBJECT: Gerbils

As you requested, I meticulously catalogued the items purchased as per your classification scheme. In answer to your queries:

(1) I did not misclassify Papaya. I put it as 5.5.4 Fruits, Exotic because it is a fruit and not a vegetable. Check your facts.

(2) The gerbils have now been returned to the store. I only managed to get store credit but I feel sure it will come in useful.

* * *

 **In Which We Meet Mr Jones**

 _Diary Entry_

Just when I thought this job couldn't get any weirder..

The suspect we needed to talk to had been shot dead and Walter wanted to know if the head was intact. A question, Peter pointed out, only Walter could ask.

From image extraction from an optic nerve to linking a dead brain to a live one to get a response. I am scared that one day Walter's experiments are going to hurt or kill someone, maybe even his own son. But I'm being professional and hiding my fears and doing my job.

This project is important enough to risk Peter's life. It's important enough I can get over my reservations.

Besides, it worked. How amazing is that?

Walter still doesn't get my name right. And today he was in a forgetful mood and kept telling us how the shaved head looked like Peter's bottom when he was little. It was embarrassing the first time but by the third time we were becoming blasé about it.

Wonder what his bottom looks like now?

No, no I mustn't think about that. It would be unprofessional and anyway, flighty geniuses aren't my type. Even if he is tall and handsome and charming. Olivia thinks he's cute, I can tell. Just this look she gets sometimes when he's talking or playing the piano. I don't think she's looking to start dating him but she does like him.

Gossip at HQ is Olivia has an ex-boyfriend in Germany that was her mysterious contact. Now that could stir things up.

* * *

 **The Equation**

 _Diary Entry_

Christmas came early; Walter became obsessed with red and green blinking lights. He hypnotised Peter into cutting his own shirt sleeves off. I called him Chachi but I'm not sure he appreciated the joke.

 _Diary Entry_

Poor Walter, stuck in St Claire's. Olivia will have him out by morning but even so, it is terrible. Occasionally he'll mention something to me that he missed because of his time there. There's this faraway look in his eyes, sort of grief-stricken, whenever St Claire's comes up. I hope he's okay; and the poor boy that we're looking for is too. The first forty eight hours are the most important in a case like this and we're wasting them because of that moronic doctor's vendetta against Walter.

* * *

 **The Dreamscape**

 _MEMO_

TO: Accounting Department

FROM: Charlie Francis

SUBJECT: Vivariums

CC: Astrid Farnsworth

I can confirm we do need the viviariums. They are vital for keeping alive some animals that are of extreme scientific importance that is essential to our investigation. The exact details are classified; contact Philip Broyles of Homeland Security if you doubt my word.

This joint investigation is of top priority and I ask that you do what you can to assist and stop quibbling with Agent Farnsworth over every grocery item she purchases.

 _MEMO_

TO: Charlie Francis

FROM: Astrid Farnsworth

SUBJECT: Accounting Department

Thank you!

 _Diary Entry_

What I learnt today: toads can make people crazy

What I'm thankful for: Charlie's memo to accounting to get off my back; a relief since I then had to go and buy a Bible and I didn't relish explaining that. Walter said he wasn't religious anymore though he has a perfect recall of some of the passages. If anything, I think I've become more religious since finding out there are such bizarre things going on in the world. I need a safety net of some sort.

Today Walter's fixation was coffee yoghurt. Not strawberry or banana, coffee. He has some very bizarre tastes.

* * *

 **Safe**

 _Diary Entry_

Spent morning re-filing after I found Walter had been through my records and organized them by the number of words in the title headings (subdivided by the number of syllables in the words).

Also had to explain to police that Peter Bishop is indeed an FBI consultant, as per his badge, and that while his father was not joking about cutting up a dead body, this was all legal and above board.

Then it was kindergarten at the lab with Walter playing with his toys. And rice. We'll be eating rice pudding for lunch for days so it won't go to waste.

And for the record, I don't mind brushing Gene. In fact it was kind of soothing, like grooming a giant short haired cat. But I draw the line at brushing her teeth!

 _SMS_ from Agent Francis

Olivia missing. Get back to HQ stat for urgent briefing.


End file.
